search.

I'm starting an oral jornal with my bff, Ruby. It all began with an online chat we had yesterday about how we sometimes don't feel as secure as we should. I love the conversations I have with Ruby because they're open & honest. We tell each other the truth. We don't try to say only what the other person wishes to hear or cover it up with sweet words. Our frindship is genuine & raw. It has surpassed many hardships, and I consider Ruby to be a very essential person in my life.

We've both been through different rollercoasters in our lives. Every time we see each other, we vent our worries, no matter how big or how small. Recently, we felt like the negative was consuming those free artsy girls we once met. We forgot about them for a while, so we decided yesterday to accept the fact there are things and people we cannot change. She sees the beauty in me & I see the beauty in her, & it's time we focus on reminding ourselves & each other of that.

This week, we'll be writing a poem which we'll read aloud next time we hang out. It's scary but exciting for me because I chose to write about honesty. I like to consider myself on honest person. I don't go around pretending to be someone I'm not. For example, my chino has seen me in some vulnerable stages in our life together so far, and he's a strong support. I love that he doesn't judge me, especially because I admit I judge him sometimes, and that's something I'm trying to change because it's not fair. His ears & arms are always open to me.

I've got my mind turning with ideas. I'm noticing the world around me & how I think & feel about it all, and this little exercise is helping me see myself for who I am & what my values are.