still.

I keep writing little lists at work & scattering them at home. These lists keep building up, but waiting for that day when I'll be full of energy, full of free time, with more money & with a cooperating 5 year old that will gladly help out. I've spend my time eyeing blogs with hopes of finding some inspiration for my home & family, some connection to the outside to let me know that I'm not the only person wanting to explode with self-creation but sometimes feeling stuck.
I can't stand routine. I can't stand procrastination. I'm sure we all become a victim of it, every now & then. We look within & think, "What am I doing with my life? My time? My family? My energy?" Well, I'm there right now. I look at my family- my chino with his amazing talent with music and making me nutritious smoothies, & my Ada with her never ending curiosity. I also sit down and wonder on the personality of the little one still inside me, still baking in my petite oven & how she'll add to the mix of beautiful people. Sometimes, all feels well, smooth, with no bumps on the road. We all can get along & have a good laugh. Other times, I feel I don't know who these people are, including myself. Is that normal? Is it me, or does this happen with all families? My chino says it is normal, that no family is perfect & that when we hit a bump, we have to just keep going. The important thing is to get over the bumps.

I have a couple bumps in my personal road. I'm trying to figure myself out. I'm trying to get started on some projects at home, involving my family together more. That's one thing that draws me to certain blogs- the idea of family unity. I crave that. I also want to just give myself more time for things, like photographing, sewing, reading, writing & journaling, cooking, etc. The list goes on...