november 6th 2009.

It sucks to wake up to a day of uncertainties. I'm trying to say happy, to smile & laugh & know deep down inside that everything is going to be okay, but I guess I can't say that for other people other myself. It's that realization that you have no control over other people emotions, thoughts & feelings that make the future scary.

Lately, I've had that saying "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". It's helped me out in certain situations. I realize we are not perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have regrets.

I've spent the day slowly waiting for the 5 o' clock whistle (well, we don't really have a whistle here) so I can spend the day with my mama & my hermana. We will be shopping for my B.F.F. Ruby's bebe shower gift. I know! Waiting until the last minute, lo siento! But I still look forward to buying something for that bundle of sweetness, Anatoley, whose exciting arrival is just weeks away!!!



That's me & Ruby, for last year's Pilsen Open Studios performance we did with my cousin, Maria Gaspar, another wonderful human being. We were mimes. I loved it. I've gotten to know Ms. ruby on so many levels... *sigh*. It's been 8 years since I met her, & we've done so much, seen so much in each other, & there are a lot more surprises to be had, like being pregnant together (she with her first, & moi with my second bebe)!!! I still remember being in complete shock when she told me she was having a baby. I sat there in silence waiting for her to say, "Just kidding!" But she just stared back at me. She finally spoke, "Say something!" Hahaha! Awww, chica, what a surprise indeed. And, it's been beautiful watching you grow, literally & in so many other ways. <3

I hope this day goes smoothly... I have a wonderful awaiting me tomorrow. I want to say that the people I hold closest to me, those are people in my mind & heart right now. I hope that at some time throughout the day, they think of & cherish me, too. We all need it. ~

xoxo.